I grew up going to all an all girls’ school in NYC.
Girls were the leaders in the self-government. Girls were the stars on the sports teams. Girls were the students getting into the top tier colleges. Girls were the valedictorians.It was empowering.
What I am about to say about this incredible foundation is not a statement on my all-girls’ education, or on any all-girls’ education, period. It’s just merely a fact. While this environment empowered me, it didn’t prepare me for reality because we live and work in a co-ed society.
However, the benefits of an all girls’ environment are enormous because…
Girls were the leaders in the self-government. Girls were the stars on the sports teams. Girls were the students getting into the top tier colleges. Girls were the valedictorians.The benefits of an all girls’ education are enormous because it is empowering environment.
That said, in 2013, in business women still face — for lack of a better description — a bigger challenge than men.
According to Lean In’s Sheryl Sandberg, a tome that should be read by every incoming college freshman, boy and girl, the challenge, while exponential in nature, can be explained in part by our culture’s perception of women:
1) a woman’s perception of herself 2) a woman’s perception of other women 3) a man’s perception of women 4) a woman’s perception of menSandberg sums up the research: “…success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less. This truth is both shocking and unsurprising: shocking because no one would ever admit to stereotyping on the basis of gender and unsurprising because clearly we do.” Sandberg takes this research and theorizes: “I believe that this bias is at the very core of why women are held back. It is also at the very core of why women hold themselves back. For men, professional success comes with positive reinforcement at every step of the way. For women, even when they’re recognized for their achievements, they’re often regarded unfavorably.” And further still, “Most of us are never told about this downside of achievement. Still we sense this punishment for success. We’re aware that when a woman acts forcefully or competitively, she’s deviating from the expected behavior. If a woman pushes to get the job done, if she’s highly competent, if she focuses on the results rather than on pleasing others, she’s acting like a man. And if she acts like a man, people dislike her.”
Interesting place for me to throw in a personal side bar comment. When I have a job to do, I focus on getting it done and getting it done intelligently and immediately. I have, however, been called out by male clients on this matter-of-fact, “let’s move it along” trait. As Sandberg writes, it’s because — I suspect — I am focusing more on results than on pleasing another individual, even if that person is my client. By way of example, a male client emailed, “I don’t like your tone,” in response to an email that summed up, after myriad discussions and communications, what his company still needed to do so my agency could move along a project that we were hired to do. I have no other explanation for his response than to say he didn’t like hearing my to-the-point comments from a woman. I would wager a very large bet that a similar, matter-of-fact email written by a man and intended to move along a project written would never have received the response, “I don’t like your tone.” Try and picture it; it’s not even imaginable.
Did I get over it? There was nothing to get over because I thought it was absurd. Ariana Huffington herself, Sandberg writes, “believes that learning to withstand criticism is a necessity for women. Early in her career, Arianna realized that the cost of speaking her mind was that she would inevitably offend someone.” I’m right with you Arianna; I have offended and I suspect I will offend some more, all with the goal of helping my clients succeed.
Sandberg quotes Deborah Gruenfeld of Stanford University, a professor of leadership and organizational behavior. “’Our entrenched cultural ideas associate men with leadership qualities and women with nurturing qualities and put women in a double bind. We believe not only that women are nurturing, but that they should be nurturing above all else. When a woman does anything that signals she might not be nice first and foremost, it creates a negative impression and makes us uncomfortable.’ Acting in stereotypically feminine ways makes it difficult to reach for the same opportunities as men, but defying expectations and reaching for those opportunities leads to being judged as undeserving and selfish,” Sandberg writes.
I could reprint, here, about 100 of the 182 pages of Sandberg’s book. Instead, please just go and read the book, Lean In, and pass it on. Make it required reading. It’s a timely read this month because October is Women’s Small Business Month … and we, /’sas∙s’ē/ agency, are celebrating.
My agency asked a series of questions to the owners/principals of women owned businesses and, in the next installment, we will shout out the answers here.
Starting with our own agency, I’ll kick things off and follow-up with my business partner, Julie Schumacher.
1) Why did you decide to start/purchase your business? After a career in radio and television (pre-kids), I was working for about 10 years as a freelance writer, writing for everyone from the Washington Post (newspaper and Sunday Magazine) to Cooking Light Magazine. My kids were getting older and I wanted to build something of my own while at the same time having the flexibility to still be home with my children when they needed me. Public Relations was a natural place for me because of my background in journalism and media (on camera/behind the mic). During my media career I had also worked for PR firms and had run my own media-tour company, focusing exclusively on that PR specialty.
Therefore, building a business with a platform for differentiation appealed to me. My partner and I built /’sas∙s’ē/ (an acronym for strategy, accountability, synergy, sustainability, e-commerce) to help small- and medium-sized businesses get what they deserve, the chance to “shout out” about themselves the way big businesses can. We give our clients the platform for growth and business success by taking traditional concepts from marketing and PR and creating a buzz using the power tools provided by social media. We call it “The Trifecta,” PR, marketing and social media working in tandem to help businesses create growth and sustainability. Many of our clients are a lot like us –businesses started and run by women. It’s incredible to be able to help boost the economy, in general, and grow our own business, specifically, while at the same time helping other businesswomen. That said, a lot of our clients are ALSO businesses run by men or both men and women.
Quick background: My career started in radio and TV as an anchor and reporter. But, during the span of my on-camera days, I did some work in PR. Having been raised by a PR executive mother, PR came naturally to me. When I was writing freelance, Julie pitched me a story, I wrote it and we immediately connected.
2) What does being an American Business Woman mean to you? Here are some statistics pulled from the Center for Women’s Business Research:
There are 27-million small businesses in the United States. 28% of those businesses (7.7 million) are owned by women. In 2013 there are 20.1% more women owned businesses than there were in 2002. It’s projected that women owned businesses will account for one-third of all new jobs created in the year 2018.I’m proud to be part of this group of women who own businesses.
3) Do you believe that you are setting an example for your daughter/girls? Absolutely and definitively. It’s not easy raising children and growing a business. Women remain challenged; and, while the disadvantages make success more difficult, they also make success more exciting and the accomplishment sweeter. Specifically, disrespect for women in business remains a rampant problem. Our agency has been successful but it continues to be a fantastic challenge and we are hoping for the day when it is no more challenging for women than for men. Great business ethics and abilities are not gender based; yet, too many business people are unaware of this obvious fact.
I am proud to show my children, especially my college-aged daughters, that success is possible.
4) Do you have any advice for other women on how to get started?
My business partner calls me kitschy creative Cari. I love to have fun with words. And so, I wrote a poem to help people get started in business. If you would like to read the long-form version, click here.
Name and domain Must be one and the same Make a logo (expression) An image for you that defines your profession Write a tagline, a phrase Use keywords that differentiate in many ways Your position? Well it is, of course, enhanced by your mission Messaging in a statement Keep it simple and blatant Keep creating be persistent So your brand is stronger and remains consistent Come up with a plan Make your marketing grand When designing your site keep in mind it’s a tool And use it to give you your marketing fuel Public Relations – it’s about getting attention Make sure your angle gets a media mention Social media — know that it’s here to stay It’s a platform-making buzz not child’s play Put this all together and start working smart Your business will grow with a kick ass start.Our next installments will give you a chance to hear what other successful women business owners think and feel.
Hit this link for Shoe Train owner Marina Fradlin’s story.
